I’ve felt alone with family. I’ve felt alone in relationships. When I started yoga over 15 years ago, everyone talked about this “oneness”. I didn’t feel one with anything. Not even my own body! When I got to the place of, “Ok, I understand this,” I still felt lonely. Why would I want to feel one with the murderers and rapists out there? I don’t want that energy near me! I continued to struggle with the phrase, We Are One. If there are supposedly so many people “with” me, where are they? Where are they when I feel at my worst–or at my best–for that matter?
Feeling the way I felt, I still continued with my work. Growing up in a family of eight brothers and sisters and two busy parents, you’d think I would feel included. But no, I didn’t. I felt excluded. As I started dating, the unavailable man was always willing to show up for me. As I got older, I learned to accept my responsibility in my relationships. Giving off an energy of loneliness and unworthiness, how could I not attract the same into my life? Unavailable men mirrored back to me all the loneliness I felt myself. I didn’t have to look at my own stuff if I kept blaming them for my feelings.
In yoga retreats, when those around me complained or judged me, I certainly didn’t feel at one with them. However, I did use my reaction to learn something. How I related to them at that moment was a great message. What I felt about myself…an even better one. I learned to forgive and listen to the message. I was starting to understand this oneness thing.
Now in the present moment, when I am so connected with spirit, I understand even more. Spirit is always with us. Our guides, angels and spirit animals have our back. When I think of others who struggle with their addictions and their pain, and I don’t want to get caught up in their energy, I put my guides between us. As I hold hands with my guides, they hold hands with others. During meditation, I see others doing the same thing I’m doing. They aren’t near me in the physical, but they are present with me. Even when I feel I am the only one around me who feels the way I feel, I remind myself that isn’t true. I connect with them every day in meditation. I heal and grow so that others may heal and grow. I keep doing my work.
Tell me how you feel connected, even though you are alone. I’m open to comments and questions
It is my pleasure to be of service.