I’ll start this piece with what happened over three years ago. It was 2017 and I had just begun my summer job at Omega. Mid way through the season I was contacted by an entity, The I of the Earth. You can read the full story here on my blog. There was one thing I didn’t share in this blog about my time with The I of the Earth. I was told that first season that “Omega would close.” Of course, I thought, there’s no way that could happen. Omega was celebrating their 40th season! As I made my way through the summer, I was seeing many changes that could take place there in order for them to grow, but I did not imagine how these things would cause them to close. I wasn’t seeing those changes taking place. I even contacted the CEO and sent him some information but there was no response. I thoroughly enjoyed my time with The I during both my seasons at Omega.
Flash forward four years later, Omega closed for the 2020 season. I was set to do another summer there, but in the back of my mind, The I’s words were still with me. And then Corona happened. Could this be what The I was talking about? Of course it could. Now, I have no idea if this means forever or just this season. That was not clear. But I contacted the CEO again this month and there was no response. I don’t want Spirit telling me that I didn’t even try to get the message across, even if I do sound totally weird to someone who may be a tad skeptical.
Here’s the deal . . . When Spirit speaks to me, there is no time reference (well, mostly). Their “predictions” could happen at any time. It’s my job to make sure I journal everything and keep my eyes open. This wasn’t the first time I received a message like this, however, it was the first very clear message. I did what I could.
Where does this leave me now? Well, I’m in a state of “being” just like everyone else. And I had a very interesting last couple of days. Since I became quarantined, I was feeling very excited about what was coming. I couldn’t believe I wasn’t more depressed. (I’ve lived with depression my whole life.) When Omega said they were closing, I was even more excited about my journey from here on out. But then the depression hit.
I’d been here before . . . a day of depression and thoughts running over and over in my mind. The next day I’m fine and the sun brings an even brighter day. I’ve come to understand that Spirit has been allowing me (I’ve allowed myself) to wallow in this type of day, a sort of “surrender,” so that the next day would bring me a sense of new understanding.
Today wasn’t like that. There was something other than depression taking over me. I didn’t understand it yesterday, but half way through today, I was able to recognize it . . . it was grief.
I spent a good portion of the afternoon in tears, a deep guttural cry, only it didn’t come from my throat or my stomach, it came from my heart center. My heart hurt. I wasn’t crying about the money I wasn’t making, or the job that was over before it started; I was crying because . . . I had no idea why. I turned to my connection with Spirit and asked to be shown the message.
I immediately saw an image in my head I’d seen multiple times during readings with clients. My Soul (or rather, my client’s Soul, for I become them), in a field of white emptiness. I viewed this as beautiful for my client. The space around me was free. The space in front of me had the openness for growth and expansion. But today, I didn’t feel any of that. I felt that what I’d done in my past no longer existed and my future wasn’t there yet. I was hovering in this space, not grounded and not comfortable at all. It felt very nauseating. In fact, I was literally getting nauseous. In my view, I couldn’t hold onto anything. It was very confusing. I put the blanket over my head and cried some more.
Where was this moment taking me? Why couldn’t I see or sense the ability to take my next step? I let the grief wash over me. I listened to a podcast that talked about the grief during this time. Funny how I was drawn, even in this moment of being curled up in a ball, to make the decision to listen, literally, to something confirming what I am going through – what WE are going through as Souls.
When I began to come out of this “funk,” I went through the details with my friend. I knew more would come out this way, it always did. Here’s what came out of the after party of my grief stricken day.
Spirit has been saying all through this Corona Love thing, that everything is okay. For the last year or so, they’ve also been saying that we, as Souls, have never come to this point of our evolution. This lifetime should feel a little “wonky” at this time. Now, they are finally letting us know, that as Souls, before we came into this lifetime, we did not know what was going to happen – what the result would be from this evolutionary time.
You see, in every other lifetime, we knew what our contract would be — how our life would play out. We knew the way we’d live and the way we’d leave the planet. But not this time. This time, we made the choice to come here and not know what the result of this shift would bring. Spirit may or may not know the result, I haven’t convinced myself of either, but they do know that whatever way this situation turns out, it will be “okay!”
Here’s where non-duality comes in. Since there is no good/bad, or right/wrong, whatever happens is just another detail in our evolution. Spirit knows this and it is time for us to get on board with that knowing.
So, where do I stand right now, in this same space of “unknowing?” I’m still hovering there. A little more content about not knowing. We all have the choice to take this one way or the other, knowing that whichever way we go, it will be okay. I’ll still choose to hold down the Love vibration and I’m hoping most of you will also. Regardless of where this lands us as Souls, let’s at least stay in Love.
A few moments into our after party, I remembered it was Mother’s Day. For the last year or so, I’ve been reminding everyone that there are words that no longer fit into the new paradigm. On this day, we are celebrating Mother Earth. Her final moments as female and burning off the remainder of feminine so that we can all come together as One. Masculine (mind/ego) is old paradigm. The mind wants to come along now. No more fighting. No more judging. No longer pulling feminine, and feminine no longer pushing masculine/ego aside, but standing right beside each other as One. This added to the grief of the day. Letting more — more of the old paradigm — go.
I’m hanging in there by your side as One. Breathe deep and cry when you have to. It’s definitely healing. And then laugh, knowing you are doing just what you set out to do in this lifetime . . . As did the I of the Earth.
I hope you will share this post. Thanks for being “here” with me.
UPDATE: I just read Maureen Moss’ post on Facebook where she talks about the The Portal to the New Earth opening this past weekend. With that, came movement of “grief energies.” Ahhhh . . . so there you have it.
UPDATE 2: Last month I did a guided meditation around the “grid” of the Earth. Spirit led me to burn a hole in the grid and then send in energy of some sort. Can you say “Portal opening?”
Vibrationally in Love,
Donna, Soul Shifter
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